November 2008
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Thursday, November 27, 2008
hello wello.i deleted my lj acc yesterday,realised it was full of nonsensical,childish stuff.it took me so long to realise that im actually being so selfish.i know im insecure and i failed to do my part as a girlfriend.I can't stand my insecurity. I will only come to my senses when i was on the verge of losing him. i took him for granted unknowingly.im so sorry. i should have never thought twice about us. it was so stupid and selfish for me to even have that thought come across my mind.I neer thought of you'd have felt.You mean so much to me and i can't lose you.We've got so much more to do together,im just stupid for being afraid to show how much i really love you. when you forgave me,i felt really bad. i broke all my promises yet you took me back. i really need to grow up. if i carry on this way,im really going to lose you,which is the last thing i'll ever want. i know you were still hurt even when you came by this morning,you just didnt show it. yet,you smiled and everything was back to normal. i just couldn't let you go. i still keep your messages and read them from time to time to remind me of what a fool i am. i swore that i will treat you better. there just can't be anymore of me being like this.......im very sorry.oh god,how many sorrys have i said already..lol. this is probably the sorriest i've ever felt compared to all our past fights. I can go on and on telling you about how sorry i am,how much you've done for me. but it'll all be so meaningless if i said it and the same thing happens again.so i'll change my ways.The thought of losing you drove me crazy. i can't lose you mervyn....we're going to have brighter days ahead of us,i promise you for the very last time.I Love you very much.♥
anyways,sidetrack a bit.heh.MERVYN DYED MY HAIR FOR ME TODAY!hehe.i was so bored..i think im crazy,nothing to do only,do something funny.haha.but i dont like the colour..it's too bright and ah lianish..alamak.haha.how how how..=( anyways,im going to mervyn's house tmr to see aunty,uncle and ka-che.i havent seen them for so long.... maybe i'll bake brownies and give them some tmr?YES!that's what i'll do.heeeee. actually,it's really how you see things in life and how you face things.gosh,im really dumb.sorry mervyn..for having to go through all these with me.ayone could have just left but you never did.THANK YOU BAOBAO=)love love. |