behold! a very long post.

hello hello:) today was a pretty nice and fun day. i actually woke up at 7 plus cause melanie asked if i could work today cause she was on mc then i already told stephen that i had tuition so i said sorry and went back to sleep..i was tired like hell..honest. then at 11 plus,sanjeev called i picked up. he said he didnt go to school and asked if i wanted to go to the hospital to visit his mum. of course i wanted to! so i bathed and got ready to leave. mervyn wanted to go cause he had nothing to do anyways and he was at roxy square. unfortch, it started raining sooo heavily,thunderstorms and lightning..couldnt meet jeev then. poor mervyn had to wait alone for 2 hours..couldnt blame him for being bored. i really wanted to just get out of the house cause i didnt like making people wait but jeev didnt pick up my phone. i really didnt care how heavy the rain was but i just wanted to get to roxy square asap.

OMG. im really broke. i dont know how am i gonna get to Mediacorp on fri and how am i going to have lunch on thurs cause i have work. im so broke:( when i saw jeev's mum and they talked about how much they had to pay for the delivery of a baby..and the amount of pain she has to go through..oh my gosh. but im not afraid actually..for that baby of mine,i'll do anything. god i really love kids so much.

and and!the babies in the nursery are soo adorable. and jeev's brother is adorable!!!! so cute! so heavy and large. it looks like it's already 4-5 months old when it's only 1 day! oozing with cuteness i tell you..all of the babies make you go AWW.. I CANT WAIT TO HAVE MY OWN FAMILY! i cant wait to make babies with the love of my life, i cant wait to buy nice,fashionable clothes for them, make for them a beautiful nursery at home, most of all, i cant wait to feel the baby inside me. it must be the most amazing feeling all mothers have gone through..it's just special and it's your flesh and blood. no way am i ever going to abort,ever. then my husband must take care of me and sayang me everyday, make me laugh and laugh everyday, love me more than anything in the world. ah okay already. hahah!

P.S: im not saying that mervyn will be the one i marry..i hope he will be but i dont want to pin my hopes on it lest you know..so im just saying what i want. heh

at the age of 20,people like Melanie is already looking for a person with a future and a long term relationship. how fast people grow up..im only 18. but im so afraid no one will want to marry me or that i'll marry the wrong guy..and i want to get married by at least 22 or 23. young mummy!:)
ahh kids. :) i hope baby ramesh will be alright..he'll be back on thurs and uncle says we can go over to see him!

i always reflect before i sleep and for today, im just thankful for each day that i have mervyn by my side and that we are as close as ever..with no one in the way like last time. i can just really,feel him right now. as in,who he really is and this is the person that i fell in love with 10 months back.no, back in sec 2 actually. im scared of sept 11..the day that we'll part. will he come back,i dont know. i wouldnt know whats going on inside. all i know is i'm gonna wait for him. we'll actually be together always. it's just a matter of who's willing to pick the other one up when he/she falls and are we both willing to stand by each other all the way even if shit happens, if that happens throughout these 2 years..im gonna give myself a huge pat on my back!!:)

uncle ramesh was like saying "haha,it's gonna be you guys turn next ah" something like that. he was referring to me and mervyn. but,i wasnt like all yay im definitely gonna be with mervyn for life and all that. i actually felt,like,okay. i love him so much,more than anything in the world but i want us to progress slowly and build a very strong and stable relationship with him as we grow up. like harlow!of course deep down inside,im like hell yeah i wish you'll be the father of our babies but, im not pinning all my hopes on it..you know what im trying to say? we both still have so much to go through. we went through shit..really lotsa shit.haha..if one day im the one who's left to pick up the pieces and put em back together,i know it'll be hard,but he's the only one i want and the only one i'll ever see myself with. that is,if, no one else comes in between. I Love You Mervyn Tang.

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