it's freaking depressing having to see faces that dont even smile at me when i do, and we hardly even talk. it's so fcuking sad. as much as i want to go out with them when they ask me to or anything..i just dont want to. i feel like im comfortably numb,living in my own world at home. my sister treats me like shit,talks to me as if im shit and i just keep quiet.what for rebutt when everytime i try to make my stand these type of people just fight their way out. i mean like,let me talk?! im not good at making my stand cause i give up easily but let me talk?

funny how i still call steffi..yet she still lies to me. i feel hurt each time i know she doesnt really treat me as a friend after all i've done for her. helping her with karen and rebecca all. im just invisible. heck la. im happy now anyways. haha

i wish i could talk to mervyn now. i've got things to share with him. but then again..im so afraid of being a burden. sigh. ohwells. i want to go to church today..it's been ages! i never went to church cause i had no one to go with. sigh. and easter day's coming. SIGH.gosh..times like these i feel so goddamn alone. but i thank yuan li for talking to me out of the blue. i really appreciate it and it's nice doing something for someone.=) i miss mervyn.

3:13 AM ·